I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
