I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
