Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
