suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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