ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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