Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
