Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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