I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
