She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
