It's Friday. Sex?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
