I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
