All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
