Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
