Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
