You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
