Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
