the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
