id be glad to
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
