when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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