I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
