when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
