i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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