Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
