in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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