Dual....:-)
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
