Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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