Fine. I'll sleep in my office
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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