I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
