about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
