All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
