just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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