I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think i scared a bird with my dick
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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