Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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