I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
