The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
