This dress was meant to end up on your floor
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
