I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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