I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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