i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
