In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
