Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
