is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize