If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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