dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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