I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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