weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
