Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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