I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
