U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
