her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
