i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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