I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
