I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
