fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
