He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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