Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
