I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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