I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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