Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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