i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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