I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
