This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
